Kinny // 19

Songbird trapped in a cage called The Safehouse

I know you see me. Like some wide eyed dreamer. That just rolled in off a dusty mid west bus. Yeah, on the outside I look fragile. But on the inside is something you can’t crush.

junebug-bennent:

i hate the fact that this is all over again

I love you.

I’m sorry.

Oct 8th at 6PM / via: lightingkitsune / op: lightingkitsune / tagged: i dropped the ball. fml. / reblog / 4 notes

The Sound of Silence. // Kinny

Kain was near speechless. He swore that even his heart stopped beating for a few moments. Reacting to sudden movements and actions had never been his forte, and it was only proven true when she seemed to practically vomit words out into the air. Kinny’s emotions poured out before him as if something that occurred here had caused her to lose her control somehow, and every inner nerve, both personal and professional, was taking note on this behavior, as well as the words spoken.

There were so many grains of truth, he thought he’d done a wrong against her. Was it too much that he was keeping so distant? Should he reveal a little about himself in return? Wait. Why was he caring so much about her in the first place? That little question bugged him the most. Kain put so much effort in keeping all that he can away from everyone, and each calculated move gained only success after success in seceding people away from him so he can be left alone to think. But this one was incessantly persistent. It irritated him in so many ways, yet left him thinking in others just… Just what it’d be like to let someone in. It brought back a quote from a grim movie he’d seen called Repo! The Genetic Opera. ‘A big risk. A big fence. A big mistake. A new friend.’

Just gaining his voice and use of muscles, he slowly nodded in response to Kinny’s concern about his comprehension of what she’d said. Oh, he understood very, very well. She’s not an outcast though, in his mind. He was, purposefully left to dwell on his own island of thought all the time, not letting anyone join his marooning. Biting his bottom lip for a moment, his eyes cast down onto his lap.

After a breath of silence, he carefully spoke what came to his mind, sentences set out like a speech or monologue: “I cannot tell you a lot. Not for the sake of secrecy, however, but due to my own handicap of being able to handle the subject as a whole. What I can let myself say is that, long ago, my heart died. And, as of two years ago, so did my soul. I’m just barely here, and, even then, I have many regrets and much that I’ve lost that cannot be regained. My heart longs for something to fill the emptiness, but there’s hardly anything as worthwhile as what I lost, and my mind knows that things will never be the same no matter how much I wish it to be.”

Kinny felt herself internally wince as Kain admitted that he felt his heart and soul had departed. The story was so tragic. Hearing that he longed to fill the emptiness gave her a slight glimmer of hope. She couldn’t understand the tragedy that would cause pieces of someone to die. She couldn’t fathom going through something so traumatic, that it left holes where things used to exist. “I’m sorry,” she said solemnly, wanting to respect that he’d even shared this much with her. Something so sacred from Kain. He was extremely secretive; always giving just enough information for you to have more questions. And here she was, encroaching on his territory and demanding information. She felt ashamed. 

"You play beautifully," she said simply, filling the silence. She wasn’t sure what possessed her, but she reached out, placing her palm in his and grasping his hand. She knew if he pulled away, he’d have every right to do so. Yet again, Kinny’s childlike impulsivity was breaking down boundaries that were set up for a purpose. The truth of the matter was that she couldn’t help it, and she needed to take a chance. 

I’m going to start making marks on the wall for all the days I’ve been here.

Might as well, since this place is the closest to prison I’ve ever gotten. 

Sep 9th at 9PM / reblog / 1 note

I just want to go home…

How odd, I’ve done a better job of hiding how big a fuck up I am then I thought, But that’s sweet. Thank you Kinny. Oh really now? The Ol’ Kainster has caught your eye? In words of high-school teenagers everywhere, Tell me everything

I think you just like to put yourself down, June.

There’s really not much to tell. He won’t open up to me at all. I played some of my songs for him, he played piano for me…but that’s about the extent of it. He’s like a brick wall. It’s infuriating.

(Source: kinnylavaard)

Aug 20th at 3PM / via: lightingkitsune / op: kinnylavaard / reblog / 14 notes

I just want to go home…

I don’t.. I don’t know. Making up for past mistakes I guess.. And that problem is? Besides from the need to put yourself in immediate danger of course. 

Mistakes, you? That doesn’t even seem possible. You’re always swooping to my rescue, offering me wonderful advice, and protecting me. I don’t even know how you could’ve ever made any serious mistakes.

I may or may not have a ridiculous school girl crush on Kain.

(Source: kinnylavaard)

Aug 20th at 2PM / via: lightingkitsune / op: kinnylavaard / tagged: locked between them. / reblog / 14 notes

I just want to go home…

Rude. I love you. But the problem is, is that going back. You would be putting the people you love in danger, Your dad, Your friends, Even a sibling or two would get caught in the crossfire, and their blood would be on your hands. 

Why do you always have to be the damn angel on my shoulder, June?

I have a problem, June.

(Source: kinnylavaard)

Aug 20th at 2PM / via: lightingkitsune / op: kinnylavaard / reblog / 14 notes

I just want to go home…

They’re not wrong, C’mon. It’s not safe out there, period. and it wouldn’t feel that way either. You think you have bad paranoia here? Just wait till you’re out there! Your skin would being to itch with the very fact that the gunman could be behind every corner, You wouldn’t be able to be alone for a single second because the worry that he would have already found you would have set in, And! It would tarnish every good memory because every step you took it would be like he was watching you, Just waiting to attack. 

And the worst part? The worst part is there would be no body to save you. No one to help. Because you would be completely alone, and he would only lust for your blood.

If he didn’t get you, The overwhelming fear would.

At least when I died I’d be with people that love me.

(Source: kinnylavaard)

Aug 20th at 1AM / via: lightingkitsune / op: kinnylavaard / reblog / 14 notes

I just want to go home…

Kinny… We can’t.

Maybe they were wrong. Maybe I’ll be safe back in Alma. It’s not like the people who are after me would look in a stupid little town like Alma.

(Source: kinnylavaard)

Aug 20th at 12AM / via: lightingkitsune / op: kinnylavaard / reblog / 14 notes

I just want to go home…

All of us wants to, but it isn’t safe.

I can’t handle this anymore.

(Source: kinnylavaard)